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Ask-Imam.com > Marriage (Nikah) > Question 15574 from South Africa |
I am married for 2yrs and I married a man who was previuosly married for 10 yrs.
He gave his first wife everything in the marriage e.g she was a housewife who got everything on a plate and I feel extremely insecure as I have to work. I had to make do with all 2nd hand items and I cannot handle the thought of this. What can I do to overcome this?
| Answer 15574 | September 08, 2005 |
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Jazakallah for writing to the institute. It is pleasing to note that the emotions you are experiencing are bothering you. You may wonder why I say that. Your insecurity and envy are the work of shaitaan and you will do well to ignore and reject his whisperings.
Do not bother yourself with the idea that you may have less than the previous wife. What Allah Ta'ala has willed for you is yours so do not fear nor become anxious about your material state, second hand or not. Be constant in your faith and gratitude and continue to ask Allah Ta'ala for the good of this world and the aakhirah. Desire everything new, pristine and most valuable in Jannah. It appears that the first wife isn't around in his life so why compare yourself to her anyway?
This alone can stress you out.
You are however right to feel unhappy about having to work when you have a husband. It is absolutely his duty and responsibility to support you and provide for all your needs. This is your right over him as his wife. He cannot force you to go to work. Is he disabled, unable to work due to some medical reason or is there some other valid reason why you have to work? If there is a valid reason, then you can help supplement the family income.
I suggest too that you occupy yourself in reading the Quran with understanding so that you can empower yourself about your duties, responsibilities and rights as a Muslim woman. Make abundant zikr, dua, istigfar, nafl salaah, darood shareef and ask your husband to join you too. Focus on the positive aspects of your union rather than the negative and material aspects. May Allah Ta'ala strengthen your marital bond and grant you both understanding. Ameen.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Fatwa Dept.)
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